Psychotherapists do not typically share their personal background with their clients. However, my years of experience have revealed that my clients have valued knowing the person behind the professional.
I am the youngest child of an English mother and Sri Lankan/Malaysian father, both of whom came from modest upbringings. I grew up in Malaysia where my favorite activities were running around on the beach, swimming, and playing with our extensive collection of exotic animals - including our pet gibbon “Jacko”!
My parents highly valued the ongoing pursuit of education. During my early years, I was home-schooled by my scholarly mother and a very patient family friend. Later, my parents gifted me the privilege of attending the Ashford School for Girls in England at the age of 10. Although I was very grateful for the opportunity to be educated at such a prestigious institute, the experience of living at a British Boarding School was traumatic for me for several reasons. The ongoing stress of being separated from my parents and siblings for 9 months out of every year, while being in a country where I felt I did not belong, combined with being thrust into an emotional atmosphere that was devoid of warmth and compassion were very painful experiences for such a young girl to embrace. Back "in those days" there were no counselors to help children deal with their fears and sadness; there were no therapists to validate your self-worth and your feelings. So, it was really up to me to navigate through the adversities that life brought me. Luckily, I found reprieve in my studies and connecting with other “lost souls”. My diligence and work ethic, coupled with my natural tendency to nurture others were rewarded by my becoming a star student and a trusted confidante.
I attended High School/Community College in Oxford where I was again surrounded my even more colorful international cultures than what my homeland offered, which gave me a true appreciation once again that there were many ways to look at a problem, and the plethora of ways to solve them. Being a teenager raised in a household of teens helped me develop a sense of independence and identity as well as cooperation and healthy competition.
My parents moved temporarily to Canada when I reached the age of 19. Soon thereafter, I set off to California to attend college at San Diego State University. Like many young adults, I believed I “knew it all”, and despite my parents’ desire to settle me into a new life, I insisted in launching “solo”. I arrived in San Diego, with one suitcase, and $500 in my pocket, no car, and no place to stay. Whereas I attribute my boarding school years to the development of emotional survival, I can truly say that my early years as a young adult in America forced me to quickly learn how to physically survive in an otherwise fast-paced and at times dangerous world. Despite the distractions and challenges, I earned my Bachelors Degree in Psychology and my Masters Degree in Social Work. I can sincerely say that of all the places in the world I have traveled and lived, California provided me with the greatest culture shock. Yet ironically enough, it is also the place I have felt most at home. I have remained here ever since.
I knew at the age of six that I was destined to become someone who would be of service to others. My life journey and the experiences I have endured have not only validated my passion for helping people but have placed me in a unique position to understand the complexities of the human experience. It gives me great pleasure and gratification to know that I have now become the person I wanted to have in my life from an early age; a person "who could see me, hear me, and guide me"; someone devoted to making a difference in the world by helping people become and remain happy, as well as fulfilled throughout their lives, and part of a world in which they belong.